I broke down finally in the toilet today. Cry baby huh, iam the sort of perosn who can't take stress and not fulfilling my responsibility. Its my fault and i knew, i can't blame anyone, it was fun initially, but it turned out disastrous. I was totally dissapointed. U nv knew how i felt. No one was enthu and its my fault. I can;t think of any fun cheers, i can;t think of any fun games, and i din take goodcare of u all. For that i apologise. To those freshies who stayed back to help esp.xiao hui, ci qi, charles, crystal, xiao jun and sieew hwee, thanks alot and i really mean it. A sincere thanks. To shakti, and gang of ao 2 sorry for not fuilfiling my responsibility. People say that i think too much, but i know that deep down iam not a good leader. I thought i had all under control, i thought i was funny, i hope u all have a fun time, but it turns out to be the exact opp.

For the first time in m life, i knew the meaning of totally being useless, my frshies were suffering yet i can't do anytthing esp. to charles they all. To my fellow sbs, thanks for tolerating my sotongness. Thanks for being there for me esp.wan xuan. and to wan qi they all, i know u all are stressed up too, and i may not understnad it, but i knowhow u feel.

I was alone,angry reproaching myself, i was sad, i was hurt, but the pple whom i called frenzzz kept adding salt to my ound.and its happened many times. and to some of u, pls do not yelll at me and vent ur fustrations when i din even do u wrong or whatsoever. Maybe i take jokes too carelessly, maybe iam too used to it already. U insulted the perosn i like and i even laugh it off. I dun hate u for that, i know u were joking, but its really over thelimit. Very over the limit. It happened many times, and i gave up already. I rather take u as fren than enemy.

i often ask myself, is this the me that i want in front of my frenzzz.trying my best to be funny and trying had to regard u all as my good pals when i know that iam just a normal fren to u all.I know. Dun need to hide it.

iam glad that i saw true frenzzz, pple who stayed by me and pple who understand. And all these feelings are conjured up within a day.

If not for u, i would have already broke down. I would not be joking and lauging after so much has happened if it wasn;t for u. i really thank u for that. And lastly, sorry to my freshies. anyway, it been a hell of a long and busy day. quite a long post to vent my feelings out.